They told me I would only get this way during puberty. They said they’ll go away if I stopped touching them, if I stayed positive, if I used their products, their creams, their oil free cleansing anti-sebum dirt fighting alcohol infused DIY creams! They sold me these lies during such a vulnerable time of my life. As I shake my head to this abundantly capitalist world that we live in, it is inevitable to mention that this post is about adult acne.
My experience with adult acne was pretty traumatizing to my skin. I have always had a clear face, even puberty zits just came and left so fast. Although, in the summer where I was feeling so many different emotions, mainly stress. I broke out with one huge pimple that was loged so deep under my very many layers of skin. If I popped them, it would’ve caused more scarring than what I have now. I am now acne free!
At first, I tried to find a physical cause for why this could’ve happened to me all of a sudden. Trust me, it was sudden. I blamed stress, my ex, my workload, my gym sweat, my creams, moisturizers, soap, and the list goes on. Although I have always used the same soap and creams. I seeked help from pharmacies, from a walk-in clinic and a dermatologist and I felt like I was being played. Everyone has their own personal experience with acne.
The easy thing to say is change soap. WRONG
Next possible reason, as per the clinic, is to use an over the counter pricey medical face wash. It felt like I was using Hypoallergenic baby soap without the lavender aroma. Obviously this worked none.
When I went to the dermatologist, I was beyond desperate but he lead me feeling like I will have to accept that my face has acne and that’s the way life goes. He prescribed Accutane. I had already heard that this product works. When I was consulting and he asked me all these questions about fertility, hormonal unbalance and a blood test. I told myself, I cannot just play around with my hormones because I am having issues with my face.
…I decided to let it go and get back to my old self.
Within the year of my “giving up” the stress of acne, I returned to my regular regimen, I am still carrying a sweaty face at the gym, I still use the same soap and moisturizer, and I also still drink alcohol. One thing I did leave out is stress.
Stress is what caused it, I was overwhelmed with life at the time. Happiness and letting go of things one cannot change is what I believe cured helped tremendously in my skin’s gradual improvement. I have understood that life will still hit me with a ton of bricks when I least expect it and in result, may grow another Mount Everest on my right cheek. And that is…ok.